Not All Holiday Inn Express Locations Are Created Equal

This one in South Carolina (Orangeburg, to be precise) is much more ornate than the affiliated location in West Virginia. Put away your Northern bias hats for a moment that prompt you to declare this obvious, as West Virginia must be nothing but coal, mountains, mountain lions, and moonshine. The twenty channels of hotel cable featured:

TLC- a compelling documentary about a man who had a large cancerous growth on his bum. Blood vessels burst nearly every time he went to the bathroom, which had at that point forced the man to forgo toilet paper and opt for cheap full-size bath towels to absorb the blood. No mention what this fellow had done to anger the gods, or if he has given up Chipotle.

Colorful local channel?- combined the fun of local access with snazzy graphics and logical editing. The first man featured had a magnificent, natural look about him, by which I mean wow, he must be eighty and has a head full of slicked-back hair blacker than the new tires on my car. He was doing his best to send his spirit throught the TV and deliver prosperity to me via his faith and neatly trimmed, manicured fingertips. He actually came out and explicitly promised that the Holy Ghost would fatten my bank account if I accepted him as “my shepard”. The next gentleman made a similar promise, but the agent was a nice green hankie for a modest $30.

After such revelations, more driving lay ahead.


What mountains did we drive through today, though. It seems that the bulk of today’s ~500 miles were downhill, although seven of those miles were practically straight down. Surprisingly, a mere guard rail separated the left lane from a ravine that went several miles down. Read that as one wrong move, a drifting semi, or boulder in the road (yes my Massachoochoo compatriots, boulders in the road), and instant death awaits.

Charles had promised 81 was the scenic route, and I can only wish I had the opportunity to pull over and capture the scenery.

Some more numbers:

~600- the historical tidbit concerning Orangeburg, South Carolina as provided by Elliot’s iPhone is that roughly 600 Confederates held off Union troops “temporarily helf off the Union Army in 1865”. I’m sure there’s a Faux News outlet somewhere declaring this crux of American history has been maligned in favor of the Liberal Alamo.

~520- miles covered today

40- pastures I counted where cows were currently grazing, standing, and laying down.

15- Arby’s spotted

9- hours of driving left

7- cornfields

1- giant white steel girder cross, I wildly guess about fifty feet tall, marking the future location of some Baptist church.

Both vehicles are holding up well.

This hotel is located in a strip that strongly resembles the commercial area of Wareham near Water Wizz/Wal-Mart.

According to the front desk, on Monday, barbeque rests. We settled for Fatz, not really wanting to go to Wendy’s, and afraid of Hardee’s and Waffle House. I have yet to see a Publix, but I can’t say I’m surprised to not have seen a supermarket from a major highway. There was a major billboard proudly proclaiming “JR’s” to be the largest cigar/cigarette dealer in the nation. Porcelain dolls also available, in excess of 150 styles.

Yanks lost to the Halos today in extras. I saw a Yankees sticker displayed on a vehicle with South Carolina plates.

Currently watching Philly/Dodgers.


1 Comment

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One response to “Not All Holiday Inn Express Locations Are Created Equal

  1. Hi Chris, I just talked to your Dad and asked if he had heard from you. That’s when he said to check your blog. I’m glad you are safe and making good progress.

    How did you like the Fatz and did you try the pizza place?

    What do you think of the route so far? I will check back on your blog to be sure you get to FL. safe.

    I have been keeping you in my prayers. Love Grandma

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